Well douche your snatch and let's go!
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We talked him into tasing himself.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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