I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
