Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
