she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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