I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
