mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize
