So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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