This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
