My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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