did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
someone threw a dead crab at me
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
