i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
