youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
