Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
