guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
