mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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