she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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