Small penises have feelings too.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
My vagina is officially offended.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
