Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
