Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
