I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
