By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
