If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
