I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
