I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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