Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
