Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
