I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Farmville is her only friend.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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