were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
