this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
