you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
