chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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