New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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