Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
