Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Sorry about my life...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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