it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
