I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
