We're facebook friends in real life
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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