Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
