But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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