Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
