I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
