Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
