More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
