That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize