You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
