I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
