I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
