You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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