Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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