all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
